7 Imperative Divorce Dating Do's and Don'ts from the Latina Love ...

7 Imperative Divorce Dating Do?s and Don?ts from the Latina Love Doctor

Your divorce is final. The ink is dry. You?re anxious and trying to get ready for your first date since you were 25.

Oops! Just realized that the whole dating scene has changed. What people are wearing, (no more shoulder pads). New lingo and new modalities to ?hook? up.

You are between 40 and 55 and single now. What should you do and not do in this new arena?

First put down your wine and chocolate. It?s not so bad out there. In fact. it is pretty good, according to a recent article from match.com that says that 75 percent of single women and 81 percent of single men say that they are experiencing dating success.

So pull out your big girl pants, your high heel sneakers and get out there. Just be sure and aware to avoid these common mistakes that women often make after a divorce

?? Don?t Do Revenge and Rebound Dating. Know what your true motives are before you go out the door. Revenge and Rebound Dating will always boomerang on you. So know that you are ready, get clear and know what you want before you go out the door. Keep over the resentments, victim feelings and hopelessness and take your highest self out there to go on to a new and more exciting chapter. If you can?t find your way there, call Dr. Suzanne and get some coaching (505-797-3228).

?? Don?t Date Too Soon After the Divorce. Don?t start dating just because your ex has a girlfriend. Or you will be hooked into revenge and retaliating dating. It will only hurt you and be a disaster. Starting to date again often can be an overwhelming experience.

Frequently, these elements aren?t in place: trust in yourself, high self-esteem and clear understanding of what you want. You are more able to date successfully after you have worked through your personal issues and see why things didn?t work out due to your part in the demise of the relationship. Seek out the help of a professional counselor to help you move forward.

Many women go straight to their girlfriends for advice on dating and relationships when a professional source is needed. An unbiased professional ? someone who sees issues objectively ? is a better choice. A coach will tell you the truth about your readiness to date. A well-meaning friend may not be so honest. My advice is: Before you join the dating boomers, seek out professional help from a trained counselor or coach like myself.

In this case, you need a coach more than you need to eat another chocolate bar and drink wine with your girlfriends while you tar and feather your ex with your inventory of him.

?? Don?t Be Afraid to Go Solo. Going out alone give you freedom to meet new people and is easier to meet someone when you are dating. Although we might be afraid to go out alone, practicing this will change that. Traveling with a group of girlfriends is a recipe for disaster and will chase away potential prospects. I suggest taking a class, going to a show, concert, movie or opera alone.

In fact, go to nolimitzlearning.org and check out the weekend R and R Sept 7-9 to get started. You will learn how to use the Internet, design your perfect next relationship and actually manifest what you are wanting using quantum physics and the laws of attraction.

If you can?t make our workshop, take yourself out to dinner and sit near the bar at a nice restaurant. If you?re really feeling confident, have dinner at the bar. Look around and if you see someone of interest, catch his eye for a few seconds and smile. When you smile count to 15. He might come over and introduce himself. If he doesn?t, practice smiling on someone else.

A woman alone at a bar is more approachable. The more you practice going out alone, the easier it gets.

I tell clients, if you want to meet an interesting man, be an interesting woman. Remember, men are attracted to women who are independent and fun ? women who have interesting lives of their own.

?? Don?t Try Being a Banana When You Are a Peach. Pretending to be someone other than your ?real self? on a first date and any date is death to your aliveness and future. Talking about work may feel safe, but it?s not a good first date conversation. If you had a bad day, stay home. Go out happy with an approachable attitude.

Before going out, dance in your underwear to hot fun music and think happy thoughts. Enjoy the process of getting ready and let go of the outcome. He might not be your prince but his best friend could be.

If you don?t have time to go home before your date, take a date outfit in your car or wear it to work ? something that makes you feels pretty and sexy. Be positive, be aware of your posture, stand up straight, smile and laugh a lot. Your smile is always your most important beauty accessory.

?? Don?t Change Date Plans at the Last Minute. It?s a mistake and bad manners to break plans with girlfriends or alter your schedule if dating conflicts occur. Men don?t change their schedules, and you shouldn?t either. Keep doing what you are doing. Add new men, plans and experiences as you expand your life. Men are attracted to women who have a vibrant life and who take care of themselves outside and inside. Your commitment to self, i.e. yoga, gym, walks with friends, school and things you love will only make men like you more. Always nurture your spirit and do things that give yourself pleasure.

?? Don?t Burn Bridges If He?s Not the One. Chemistry can ignite something wonderful or burn you. It can be elusive, too. Be patient. Stay open-minded and open-hearted.

Recently I went on a date and had a great evening, but there was no chemistry. So what? I had a great time. We had fun together and have since become great friends. I?m helping him look for his match and he?s helping me. In the meantime, we are going to events, movies and gatherings together.

The suggestion of being friends may offend some men, but others are happy with this idea. Men enjoy the companionship of a woman. Particularly, happy and fun women where there is no pressure; just friendship.

Try it. You may be surprised with the results. What can start out as a friendship may even turn into romance. Sparks can disappear, but friendship is forever.

?? Don?t Stop If You Make a Mistake. Or stay too long at the fair. Forgive yourself, get back up and get going again. The only thing you can?t get more of is time. Use it well, use it to have fun, use it to follow your heart, make your dreams come true and enjoy your wild and precious life.

Bringing Heaven and Earth

Sept. 7-9

Come join Dr. Suzanne for a weekend of dating strategies, manifestation tools, self-care, spiritual and personal renewal. Go to nolimitzlearning.org. You?ll be glad you did.

This three-day workshop begins Friday evening with a light dinner and a workshop on altering your life.

Saturday morning begins with a yoga session followed by breakfast and more workshops throughout the day, finishing with a five-course dinner and individual healing sessions.

Sunday continues with more yoga and more nurturing foods and workshop experiences.

This amazing experience is registering now!

About Dr. Suzanne Lopez, the Latina Love & Relationship Doctor

Dr. Suzanne M. Lopez, Albuquerque?s ?Latina Love Doctor?, aims to inspire, motivate and give readers concrete tools that will enhance their mental, physical and spiritual health. Dr. Suzanne is a relationship and lifestyle therapist who specializes in coaching people to have healthy relationship with themselves, their partners and significant others in their lives. Her posts will touch on a wide variety of topics each month all focused on improving your lifestyle, self-care, improved relationships and healthy integration of mind, body and spirit.

Ask the Latina Love Doctor a question

Make sure to send us your thoughts, success stories and suggestions at www.suzannelopez.com.

As always, feel free to contact us directly at 505-797-3228. We look forward to hearing from you!

Add your comment below or email a question to nolimitz.lopez@gmail.com or sage@abqjournal.com.

Filed under Ask the Experts, Blogs, Suzanne Lopez, The Latina Love Doctor, Top Items ? Tagged with boomer, Bringing Heaven and Earth, dating, dating workshop, divorce, Latina Love Doctor, manifestation, rebound dating, revenge dating, Suzanne Lopez, workshop

Source: http://www.abqjournalsage.com/2012/08/31/headline-50/

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